Yesterday I did an interesting little experiment. I decided to go out in old, not-stylish jeans. They were a pair of old Levis that I think I got at a garage sale 2 or 3 years ago for seventy-five cents.
I know. I'll just wait while you all regain your breath and get over your shock. Yes, I'm kidding about the shock. Not about the ugly jeans. I really wore those.
It sounds like a hardly significant thing to have done, let alone write about. But I noticed a whole mess of things flair up in myself as a result. My insecurities about my body were absolutely magnified. It was completely ridiculous. I'm pretty sure I was the same person in those jeans that I was the day before (or, ahem, today), but it was as though I couldn't stop thinking about every physical insecurity that I have. My hair. My arms. My back. Just to name a few. (And no, there isn't a logical reason why wearing a stupid pair of jeans should make me second-guess my HAIRSTYLE. And no, I don't have hair on my arms and my back. That was just a random order.)
Really, I'm not writing this so that people will say, "OH GIRRRL-- YOU'RE GORGEOUS! JUST BE CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE 'CUZ ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL!" or something equally lame. And I only say that it's lame because it's the automatic response and doesn't take into account what's behind the insecurities. And, I'm not that passive-aggressive.
I was thinking-- in countries where they have (or have had) very traditional styles of dress, do you think that women wonder, "Does this sari make my arms look fat?" Or how about colonial life pre-TV? Did the ladies put on their aprons wondering if it made their butts look big?
I'm going to step aside from my questions about the evolution of the Western female psyche for just a moment to say that I'm not against capitalism or free enterprise. Companies can make what they want (so long as it's not bringing harm to others) and if there's a demand for it-- go ahead and make some money. Land of opportunity and all that. My question is this: where is the line between being fine with free enterprise and somehow letting commercialism tell me who/what I'm supposed to be? I'm also wondering today if our commercial freedom has come at the expense of rational thought that cares for our fellow man.
"You could be THIS..."
"You would be better if you had THIS..."
"You would be content if you looked like THIS..."
"You can't enjoy who you are until your life looks like THIS..."
So, the Bible says that as followers of Jesus we're to be in the world (not isolating ourselves), but we're not supposed to be of the world (our values aren't to be determined in the same way, and we should look/sound different from those around us). Jesus prayed that for us in John 17:13-17. And, I know that my identity is supposed to be firmly rooted in Jesus--and for the most part, truly it is. I know that God looks down on me and instead of my tragically insufficient sinful self (true story, y'all), God sees Jesus' righteousness. And that should be enough.
And, what's more, I have a husband who tells me that he sees me as beautiful. I believe him, too. So why am I so bothered?
The Bible also says that we should think of others as more important than ourselves and not be a stumbling block to anyone (Philippians 2:3, Romans 14:13). Wouldn't it be cool if others in the world lived like that? Wouldn't the porn industry dry up? Wouldn't it be awesome if the people who were hired to airbrush those ads for magazines and billboards said, "Wow-- if I make that already dreadfully thin model look even skinnier and completely flawless in a way that she actually isn't, maybe it'll be really difficult for girls to accept their own bodies..." Maybe the girl walking by that has a flawless figure would care about the men around her and their reactions that they cannot help and would try to avoid showing more of their body than they cover up.
I'm just thinking about how beautiful the world would be if we all paid attention to what Jesus taught.
I would never try to impose my beliefs on someone else. If you really want to wear skimpy clothing, go ahead. If you really don't want to pay attention to Jesus, I won't force you. If you really want to create ads that make "that life" seem juuust out of reach, go ahead. But it makes it harder for some of us. That's all I'm saying. It may support what you want (attention, money, whatever), but it makes things a little harder on some of us.
I'm going to try to live out absolute love and kindness for those around me whether others will or not. I would just really like it if others in this world would, too. Sigh. Someday Jesus is going to dry every tear from my eye...
-Working to be comfortable in my own flesh and taking responsibility for what I let my thoughts dwell upon,
Me.
I know. I'll just wait while you all regain your breath and get over your shock. Yes, I'm kidding about the shock. Not about the ugly jeans. I really wore those.
It sounds like a hardly significant thing to have done, let alone write about. But I noticed a whole mess of things flair up in myself as a result. My insecurities about my body were absolutely magnified. It was completely ridiculous. I'm pretty sure I was the same person in those jeans that I was the day before (or, ahem, today), but it was as though I couldn't stop thinking about every physical insecurity that I have. My hair. My arms. My back. Just to name a few. (And no, there isn't a logical reason why wearing a stupid pair of jeans should make me second-guess my HAIRSTYLE. And no, I don't have hair on my arms and my back. That was just a random order.)
Really, I'm not writing this so that people will say, "OH GIRRRL-- YOU'RE GORGEOUS! JUST BE CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE 'CUZ ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL!" or something equally lame. And I only say that it's lame because it's the automatic response and doesn't take into account what's behind the insecurities. And, I'm not that passive-aggressive.
I was thinking-- in countries where they have (or have had) very traditional styles of dress, do you think that women wonder, "Does this sari make my arms look fat?" Or how about colonial life pre-TV? Did the ladies put on their aprons wondering if it made their butts look big?
I'm going to step aside from my questions about the evolution of the Western female psyche for just a moment to say that I'm not against capitalism or free enterprise. Companies can make what they want (so long as it's not bringing harm to others) and if there's a demand for it-- go ahead and make some money. Land of opportunity and all that. My question is this: where is the line between being fine with free enterprise and somehow letting commercialism tell me who/what I'm supposed to be? I'm also wondering today if our commercial freedom has come at the expense of rational thought that cares for our fellow man.
"You could be THIS..."
"You would be better if you had THIS..."
"You would be content if you looked like THIS..."
"You can't enjoy who you are until your life looks like THIS..."
So, the Bible says that as followers of Jesus we're to be in the world (not isolating ourselves), but we're not supposed to be of the world (our values aren't to be determined in the same way, and we should look/sound different from those around us). Jesus prayed that for us in John 17:13-17. And, I know that my identity is supposed to be firmly rooted in Jesus--and for the most part, truly it is. I know that God looks down on me and instead of my tragically insufficient sinful self (true story, y'all), God sees Jesus' righteousness. And that should be enough.
And, what's more, I have a husband who tells me that he sees me as beautiful. I believe him, too. So why am I so bothered?
The Bible also says that we should think of others as more important than ourselves and not be a stumbling block to anyone (Philippians 2:3, Romans 14:13). Wouldn't it be cool if others in the world lived like that? Wouldn't the porn industry dry up? Wouldn't it be awesome if the people who were hired to airbrush those ads for magazines and billboards said, "Wow-- if I make that already dreadfully thin model look even skinnier and completely flawless in a way that she actually isn't, maybe it'll be really difficult for girls to accept their own bodies..." Maybe the girl walking by that has a flawless figure would care about the men around her and their reactions that they cannot help and would try to avoid showing more of their body than they cover up.
I'm just thinking about how beautiful the world would be if we all paid attention to what Jesus taught.
I would never try to impose my beliefs on someone else. If you really want to wear skimpy clothing, go ahead. If you really don't want to pay attention to Jesus, I won't force you. If you really want to create ads that make "that life" seem juuust out of reach, go ahead. But it makes it harder for some of us. That's all I'm saying. It may support what you want (attention, money, whatever), but it makes things a little harder on some of us.
I'm going to try to live out absolute love and kindness for those around me whether others will or not. I would just really like it if others in this world would, too. Sigh. Someday Jesus is going to dry every tear from my eye...
-Working to be comfortable in my own flesh and taking responsibility for what I let my thoughts dwell upon,
Me.
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